***

Chloe wasn’t happy.

nbsp;              In fact she was miserable.

nbsp;              Her marriage wasn’t at a good stage and, what more, she felt like she’d been unsatisfied since forever.

nbsp;              She understood Clark had a lot on his head, but he’d always had and would have! He didn’t pay her as much attention as he’d used to and their sexual life was completely nonexistent.

nbsp;              She sighed heavily and closed her eyes forcefully to stop herself from crying. She knew if she started she would never finish and then Clark would wake up, because of his amazing hearing capacity and he would ask what was wrong.

nbsp;              How would she tell him?

nbsp;              It was Clark for a God’s sake! Sometimes she was even ashamed of her desires. She wanted to have sex, wanted it hard, she wanted something more than just that, she would also like to try some oral, but with Clark… She was certain he would look at her weirdly and either blush or make her feel totally embarrassed.

nbsp;              It wasn’t wrong for a human being to want those things, Chloe knew that, but with Clark… everything seemed different. Purer. The world was always black or white. The sex was always gentle and caring.

nbsp;              The worst part was she couldn’t blame him for that last part, because she knew he could hurt her if he lost too much of his control.

nbsp;              But they still hadn’t had sex from… Chloe started counting and at the point of three months she stopped, not wanting to think about it anymore.

nbsp;              That was not the way she’d imagined her life years ago.

nbsp;              She’d chosen Clark and she’d been so sure she’d loved him. Her first love. The purest. The right one. She’d known she should be with him.

nbsp;              So why the hell wasn’t she happy?

nbsp;              She remembered how in the past she’d been pursued by Lex Luthor. She remembered how much he’d wanted and desired her. He’d been very troubled to get her attention, he’d even told her he hadn’t expected love from her, he’d just wanted her, he could’ve given her everything in return, but she’d remained skeptical. Quite frankly she’d been a little scared of the power of his affection. It’d been Lex Luthor. He would’ve played with her and dump her in a year time. Or he would’ve married her and the marriage would’ve been over very soon.

nbsp;              Because that was how his world had worked and probably still…

nbsp;              No, Chloe thought, Lex hadn’t been seriously involved with anyone since that time. He’d chosen to pursue his politic career and just two months ago he’d become the president of United States.

nbsp;              Of course Clark hated that fact. Clark hated everything that was related to Luthors. He even stated that from now on he would have even more work on his hands with saving people.

nbsp;              That was the reason Chloe never told him that she’d actually voted for Lex. She could see that he wasn’t his father, that he really tried and dedicated himself to helping the country. He was against the vigilantes, but what Chloe admired was the fact that he wanted to make the world more safe without the need for heroes. He had a really good strategic plan and Chloe already saw that it was working.

nbsp;              Just one more secret between her and Clark.

nbsp;              Would their marriage even survive? Would they be happy together? Or would they just drive further apart?

nbsp;              Sometimes she wondered if she’d made the right choice. If Lex had really loved her as he’d claimed maybe she could’ve been now the First Lady? Maybe she could’ve done something for the world.

nbsp;              She’d been the Wachtower for vigilantes from a long time now, but it was in hiding. She had to sit in one room, by her computers, while others acted.

nbsp;              She hated her life.

nbsp;              She hated giving up on her journalist career.

nbsp;              She hated that she’d decided to move on the farm with Clark.

nbsp;              She didn’t know what to do.

nbsp;              Maybe she should just talk to Clark? Why would he laugh at her? He was her husband and he should understand her needs. She was a woman. A young one. She needed some sexual release.

nbsp;              And it wasn’t even about the sex. She would want to fall asleep in Clark’s arms, feeling safe and loved. Instead she usually went to sleep alone when Clark was out there, saving the world.

nbsp;              “Clark?” she whispered, desperate to have a talk. She felt brave at the moment and she didn’t want to lose that feeling.

nbsp;              Once she’d been a courageous intrepid reporter and now… now she was afraid to tell her own husband how she felt.

nbsp;              Clark shifted and turned on his back.

nbsp;              “Clark?” Chloe repeated, this time a little louder.

nbsp;              Clark sighed deeply and his breathing quickly accelerated.

nbsp;              “Clark…?” she whispered again, her voice a little husky.

nbsp;              She slid her hand into the covers and placed it on his groin.

nbsp;              He was growing hard very quickly.

nbsp;              Happy of such a turn of events Chloe got closer and gently traced Clark’s jaw with her lips. She wanted to wake him up by kissing and touching him.

nbsp;              She slowly started rubbing his erection, feeling wetter and wetter. She was so desperate for sex…

nbsp;              And then Clark did something that hurt Chloe so much she lost her breath.

nbsp;              He opened his mouth and while still sleeping, he moaned, “Lana…”

nbsp;              Chloe stirred. Stopped. Her hand still on his erection. Her eyes burning from the humiliation and pain in her heart.

nbsp;              Clark dreamt about her.

nbsp;              The reason he’d been so broken in the past.

nbsp;              The reason he’d probably fallen for Chloe.

nbsp;              Lana had left him and gone to Paris. Chloe had been there to console the friend she’d always loved and in the same time Lex had been pursuing her.

nbsp;              Then Clark had started.

nbsp;              And she’d chosen Clark.

nbsp;              Now she finally dared to think that she’d been just the consolation prize, the second choice. That she’d never really managed to replace Lana in Clark’s heart. That he’d never really managed to get over Lana and fell for her. Maybe he’d never really loved Chloe.

nbsp;              She felt so diminished and humiliated that she just got out of the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom where she sat on the cold floor, her back against the wall, her body shaking as she cried.

nbsp;              How she, Chloe Sullivan, could’ve been so stupid? She’d seen so much in this world. She’d always uncovered the truth.

nbsp;              Yeah, in the past. Clark Kent had been the first lie.

nbsp;              And from that time forward her life had been nothing more than one big lie.

nbsp;              She’s buried her life dream.

nbsp;              She’d buried her ambitions.

nbsp;              And for what? For some farm boy?

nbsp;              Lex’s words had reappeared in her head, “Chloe, do you really expect to be satisfied with him? While living on a farm? What with your career? What with all the things you wanted to achieve? You’ll sacrifice it all for… a boy in flannel? He’s so much less than you are!” Lex’s voice bitter.

nbsp;              “No, Lex, there’s much more to him than you see,” she said, very sure of herself. She, after all, had known Clark secret.

nbsp;              “Maybe, but still, it’ll make his future brighter, not yours.” After that Lex had disappeared from her life for good.

nbsp;              Six months later when he’d entered the politics he’d sent her a note. He could’ve gotten her out of Smallville, fixed her anything she would want if she’d only wanted out of her marriage. He wouldn’t even ask for anything in return.

nbsp;              Though she’d written the contact down she’d never answered him.

nbsp;              Now she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t live like that any longer. She had to make a change before that life would destroy her.

nbsp;              She needed to concoct some plan.

***

The next day she did some research and it turned out that Lana was back in town.

nbsp;              Clark dropped by for lunch before he would fly away again, so Chloe took the opportunity and asked him, “Clark… did you know Lana’s back in town?”

nbsp;              She was watching his face closely as he thought of an answer.

nbsp;              “Of course not, is she really?” he asked with no particular expression.

nbsp;              Only Chloe knew him too well.

nbsp;              She knew that face, knew that voice. She knew when he was lying. She’d had a lot of practice from all those years she hadn’t know about Kal-El.

nbsp;              Clark was lying to her now.

nbsp;              Clark was hurting her as no one had ever hurt her before.

nbsp;              She would’ve never thought he was capable of something like that. She must’ve been so wrong about him. So wrong about… everything.

nbsp;              Clark quickly wolfed the food down and flew away again after giving her a perk on the lips.

nbsp;              Even his kisses were impersonal now, like she was being kissed by a friend, not by her husband.

nbsp;              She stifled a fresh wave of tears that was coming and reached for her laptop.

nbsp;              Getting a job in journalism after such a big break was practically impossible. She would have to spend at least the next few years on proving everybody at the Daily Planet or, more probably at the Inquisitor, that she could get back on the horse. She knew no one would respect her if she just showed up there, asking for a job. Any kind of a job.

nbsp;              Her dignity was gone along with Clark’s affection.

nbsp;              She had nothing to lose.

nbsp;              She needed to start breathing again. She needed to get rid of that dread in her heart. She needed to stop feeling like she’d failed herself. Like she’d destroyed her life.

nbsp;              She knew there was no way she could just call the president and ask for a meeting, but Lex had a private e-mail box just for the people that were the closest to him.

nbsp;              She wasn’t sure if he still had it or is she still could count herself as a person of interest to Lex Luthor, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

nbsp;              She wrote to him.

nbsp;              For the very first time.

nbsp;              He’d given her that address in his last letter. He’d written that she would always be welcome to ask for help. Maybe he still…

nbsp;              She glazed at her laptop, completely surprised, when the answer came almost immediately.

nbsp;              Lex must’ve had that e-mail box on in his cell phone, so he could read the message right away.

nbsp;              He wanted to meet her.

nbsp;              No questions asked, no redundant words.

nbsp;              She suddenly started wondering why she felt excited to see him.

nbsp;              It looked like she was still important to him.

Deleted scene Covenant 3x22

“I’m sorry,” Lana said to me when I went to see her off to the airport. “I feel bad leaving you when I was the one who brought you here in the first place.”    

nbsp;              “Lana, don’t worry about it,” I told her and rubbed her arms. “I’ll be fine. I’ll have Chloe and Clark. You need to go to Paris. You deserve it. Just leave the past behind.”

nbsp;              “You know you still have Lex,” Lana added with a knowing smile.

nbsp;              “Lana… Lex is…” I stopped. “Never mind. Maybe it’s like with you and Clark. Chemistry, but no hope for real future.”

nbsp;              “Keep telling yourself that. I still believe in you two.”

nbsp;              “I said the very same thing about you and Clark,” I dared to notice.

nbsp;              “Touché… but you and Lex were never really…”

nbsp;              “Did I hear my name?” we suddenly heard Lex’s voice and there he was, right behind us.

nbsp;              “Lex!” Lana smiled happily at him. “You came!”

nbsp;              “It’s what friends do, isn’t it?” he asked and gave her a hug. “I came to wish you luck in your new school in Paris.”

nbsp;              “Thank you.”

nbsp;              I had the impression that Lex shot me a strange look. Yeah, we hadn’t really talked since that night he’d come over to the Talon to confess what had happened to his little brother. It was my fault, really, I just wasn’t sure if being around him was good for me.

nbsp;              “So, why did I hear my name?” he repeated his previous question.

nbsp;              “I was nothing. I was just wondering if you’d act like Clark and forget to see me off,” Lana lied to him quickly. “I guess you didn’t.”

nbsp;              “I would never abandon a friend,” Lex said firmly.

nbsp;              “I should really go now,” Lana pointed the door. “Jessica, take care of yourself.”

nbsp;              It was a rather weird coincidence, because when Emily – Lana’s dead childhood friend – had reappeared in her life for the first time it’d resulted in me coming to Smallville. Now Emily had made another reappearance, of course coming for Lana again, and Lana was leaving. And I was staying.

nbsp;              I gave her a hug and then was left alone with Lex.

nbsp;              Awkward.

nbsp;              “Jessica…” Lex started, looking at me with really strange look in his eyes. I couldn’t quite decipher what was it. Did he miss me? Did he want me back in his life? Was he angry at me? “I haven’t talked to you like in ages. Do you need a ride back to Smallville?” he suggested.

nbsp;              Six hours in a car with Lex? So what that it would not exactly be that long since he drove a sport car, still…

nbsp;              “Lex, I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy recently and now I need to meet my uncle.”

nbsp;              I didn’t have to actually, but I’d had mentioned to my uncle that I would be in Metropolis and he really liked to see me.

nbsp;              “Jessica, is it because of what… what I’ve told you?” Lex asked, pretty concerned.

nbsp;              “No, of course not, Lex!” I denied honestly. “You of all people should know that whatever you’d tell me it would never change what I think of you. I really appreciated your honesty and opening up to me. I just really…”

nbsp;              “…need to go, yeah.”

nbsp;              That sadness in his eyes was really troubling.

nbsp;              I had to leave before I would do something I would regret.

nbsp;              He would never fall for me.

***

“So, Lana’s gone, Pete’s gone, Lex and Chloe are working together on bringing Lionel down… I guess it’s just you and me then,” I told Clark when appearing in his loft.

nbsp;              “Yeah, I guess it is.” Clark smiled to me faintly.

nbsp;              “Don’t worry.” I patted his back. “Lana is not the only girl in the world.”

nbsp;              “So is Lex,” Clark retorted.

nbsp;              “Hah! Touché!”

nbsp;              “We’ll be fine, Jess,” Clark said to me like he wanted to console me.

nbsp;              “I know, at some point it just has to be, right?” I winked at him.

Deleted scenes – Memoria 03x19

“Lex?” I asked quite surprised when I went down the stairs for a cup of hot tea. “What are you doing down here in the dark? You almost scared the hell out of me!” I scolded him and found the light switch.

nbsp;              The Talon came to life and I could finally make out Lex’s face.

nbsp;              There was something wrong. It was clear. He looked like he was in some strange trance, like he wasn’t really sure what he was doing there and was only preoccupied with what was happening inside his head right now than with me.

nbsp;              “Lex?” I repeated, immediately forgetting about the tea I was going to get. “Are you ok?”

nbsp;              He shook his head slightly and finally his eyes met mine.

nbsp;              I gasped when I saw the look in them. I wasn’t sure if it was a painful relief, devastation or maybe terror.

nbsp;              “Lex, please, tell me what’s wrong,” I asked him.

nbsp;              I didn’t know what else to do.

nbsp;              “Lex?” I repeated and slowly took his hand in mine, then, when he didn’t oppose, I led him to the nearest sofa.

nbsp;              We sat down.

nbsp;              “Please, talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what‘s wrong,” I pleaded.

nbsp;              My heart was yearning for him even more now. He was obviously devastated by something, he was deeply hurt.

nbsp;              “Is that has something to do with your treatment in Summeholt?” I finally blurted out.

nbsp;              That did it.

nbsp;              He met my eyes again.

nbsp;              “Clark told you, didn’t he?”

nbsp;              “Yes, of course he did! You are my friend, Lex, and I care about you. Did you remember what you… what you intended to?” I asked, my breathing accelerating. Did he remember…

nbsp;              “I didn’t do it,” he simply whispered and looked down on the floor.

nbsp;              “What…?” I didn’t understand a thing. Did he mean he hadn’t been himself when he’d practically promised me a date?

nbsp;              “Lex, it’s ok, you weren’t yourself…” I started.

nbsp;              “No, it’s not that,” Lex interrupted me. “Jessica…” he started, but then stopped again with a exasperated sigh.

nbsp;              “Lex, you can trust me. I’m here for you,” I reassured him and dared to cover his hand with mine. “I mean it.”

nbsp;              He smiled sadly at me.

nbsp;              “I know. I guess that is why I came here instead of… talking to Clark. I just have to tell somebody…”

nbsp;              “I’m all ears.”

nbsp;              “You may not like it.”

nbsp;              “I won’t judge,” I promised.

nbsp;              I wouldn’t be able to judge. Even if Lex just confessed to a murder, I was so far gone that I would just find some good excuse for him.

nbsp;              “You want to know the reason that my father hates me so much?” he asked, looking straight into my eyes, “it’s because I killed Julian.”

nbsp;              Silence.

nbsp;              I could just gaze at him dumbfoundedly.

nbsp;              How close I was? Murder. On his baby brother? No, that couldn’t be right. Lex wasn’t capable of something like that.

nbsp;              “Wait, didn’t Julian die of sid?” I asked.

nbsp;              “That what everybody was told,” Lex answered bitterly.

nbsp;              “Lex, I don’t believe even for a second that you did something like that. You wouldn’t hurt an infant,” I said with so much confidence and belief in him in my voice that it shocked me and Lex himself.

nbsp;              He looked at me like in some kind of awe.

nbsp;              “I knew there was a reason I’ve come to you with this,” he said softly. “Jessica… you have no idea how much it means to me that you would just…”

nbsp;              “Lex, maybe you’re used to everyone else judging you, but I am not one of them. I don’t look at you through the Luthor stigma, I look at you. The person you really are. And I am sure deep down that you would not do such a thing. And you didn’t. Am I right?”

nbsp;              There was something strange hanging in the air. Some understanding. Bonding. We had become even closer. Such a pity he still didn’t want to see me as something more than just a friend.

nbsp;              I really needed to retreat before I would get hurt too badly.

nbsp;              “Yes, I did not,” Lex finally said and I felt like I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

nbsp;              Blind faith was one thing, but actually hearing the confirmation was good.

nbsp;              “So, what happened?” I prompted. “Whatever it was it must’ve shaken you up pretty badly.”

nbsp;              “The thing is…” Lex sighed again.

nbsp;              I knew he was showing me his weakness right now. He needed to talk to somebody, he needed a consolation and I was there for him. It made me feel special that he chose me for that, not Clark, no one else but me. But it still hurt that much more.

nbsp;              The next day, when the sun would go up again, he would act like it didn’t happen, like everything was back to normal.

nbsp;              “My mum did it,” Lex told me and I opened my mouth. That much shocked I was.

nbsp;              “Oh… Oh god, Lex… I am so, so sorry,” I immediately breathed out and placed my hand on his shoulder.

nbsp;              “Yeah… she… she loved my brother so much that she couldn’t stand the thought of him being raised by my father. She couldn’t stand the thought of him being treated, well… like I was.”

nbsp;              “Oh, Lex. You never should’ve…”          

nbsp;              “She was crazy, but it didn’t seem that wasn’t true. It is, Jessica. I’m fighting all the time. I realized I was doing it for my father’s affection, for repentance… but now I know I will never get what I want from him and I don’t have to live with that terrible guilt my whole life. I covered for my mother, because I knew that my father would punish her… I guess I repressed those memories and thought I did it myself… My father wouldn’t hurt me, I was his only descendant. But her…” Lex’s voice faltered. “He destroyed her. Destroyed her health. Made her go mad and then… she couldn’t stand it anymore and she finally gave up to another sickness and… she died.”

nbsp;              There was nothing left to say.

nbsp;              I moved closer and just pulled him into my embrace.

nbsp;              He reciprocated and hugged me tightly.

nbsp;              I felt so save in his arms. It was so right.

nbsp;              Like we matched perfectly together. Like we were meant to be.

nbsp;              He needed the comfort, but somehow I got it from him as well. He didn’t know, but I did.

nbsp;              And that was why it was even worse when he finally let me go, thanked me and… walked away.

nbsp;              I knew him too well by now. I knew he wouldn’t stay for long. He wouldn’t risk breaking or showing me any more of his soft side.

nbsp;              I just knew I had to finally pull away a little bit in order to save my own heart from breaking.

nbsp;              Or was it broken already…?

nbsp;            

/shimmer/

It’s been some time now, but for Chloe what she’d done with Lex still felt too surreal to be true, almost like it hadn’t happened.

nbsp;              She didn’t regret a thing. She’d been fully conscious of her actions and in the same time of the person she’d done it with. She couldn’t have illusions when it came to him. He wasn’t a man for her and it didn’t matter how wonderful he’d made her feel. They weren’t that close and sex didn’t mean they suddenly became.

nbsp;              Besides, Chloe still had her crush on Clark. Maybe it was because she could actually have something real with her friend as he was her peer. She felt like she would never really fit into the Luthors’ world. She would be a great reporter someday and a possible relationship with Lex would just get in the way of it.

nbsp;              What didn’t mean she didn’t miss him.

nbsp;              She did. She missed how he made her feel. How his touch and his lips affected her body. How…

nbsp;              She shook her head while sitting in her chair at the Torch, trying to work.

nbsp;              The problem was that this secret was really bugging her. She wasn’t sure if she liked to feel that way or not. She’d never really had to keep something from her friends before. She would love to talk to somebody, but she couldn’t. Even if she dared to she would just ruin Lex’s life.

nbsp;              Lex didn’t deserve to be put behind bars. Chloe knew he could be a great man someday, maybe a better CEO of the LuthorCorp than his father.

nbsp;              She suddenly realized one sad thing: her friends would report Lex to the authorities in a heartbeat if they knew. They would think Lex had used her despite her telling them otherwise.

nbsp;              Because he was a Luthor. That was what Luthors did – they were using people.

nbsp;              And because he was a grown up man who should know better than to act on his impulses like some adolescent.

nbsp;              Chloe kind of loved the fact that she’d managed to get him out of control, to make him do this with her. He wouldn’t with any other underage girl.

***

Chloe managed to do her best not to look weird or not to show any emotions on her face as Clark was filling her in in Amy’s obsession that was… Lex.

nbsp;              The girl was Chloe’s age, but yet she was so much younger than Chloe really was.

nbsp;              She’d kept Lex’s pictures in her cabinet, drawn hearts around them and written his name in her notebooks and it’d even come to her stealing his watch. The very watch he’d been given to by his dead mother.

nbsp;              Chloe thought Amy was really stupid. And so immature.

nbsp;              When somebody didn’t want you it was just embarrassing and childish to keep pushing.

nbsp;              When the case was finally over Chloe couldn’t stop herself but go to talk to Lex. It was like a magnet pushing her in the direction of the mansion.

nbsp;              “Stupid, stupid girl,” she told herself as she was let inside.

nbsp;              It was, yet, stronger than her common sense.

nbsp;              “Chloe…” Lex was surprised to see her, but managed to keep his usual impenetrable façade. “Is everything alright? Are you…?”

nbsp;              “I am totally fine, Lex,” she said while breathing a little too fast.            

nbsp;              If what they’d had had been just a casual fuck then why she wanted him again? She denied having real feelings toward him. It was completely physical, she kept telling herself.

nbsp;              “Is this about Amy?” Lex finally asked, looking at her closely and involuntarily remembering how Chloe had just gotten up that morning after, told him she should go and just... left.

nbsp;              He’d tried to talk to her, to stop her, but she’d just told him to let it go and that she’d been fine.

nbsp;              Now they saw each other again.

nbsp;              “Well, I guess so… it must’ve been pretty irritating to be a subject of an obsession of a fourteen year old.”

nbsp;              “Chloe…” Lex sighed. “Amy is not you.”

nbsp;              “But…”

nbsp;              “I’ve already told you that you’re more mature than most of your peers, if not all of them,” he reassured her while coming closer to her. “And as I recall correctly, you told me you wanted nothing else to do with me.”

nbsp;              “I told you I didn’t want a relationship.”

nbsp;              “And I agreed with you. I know you’re too young for something like that.”

nbsp;              “This is even not the case, I…” She bit her lip, thinking hard of how to say it to not hurt his feelings. “I just don’t… feel about you that way,” she confessed. “The physical attraction is very strong, I admit, but we just don’t know each other that well.”

nbsp;              “Sometimes you just know,” the answer came and Lex was dangerously close to her. So close she could smell his cologne that started getting to her senses.

nbsp;              Lex didn’t even know why he said it. He seemed to be unusually out of control whenever Chloe was around. He kept saying things he didn’t want to say. He kept telling himself that he was crazy. He couldn’t think seriously of such a young girl, but there was something about her…

nbsp;              “Anyway, I am too young,” she said.

nbsp;              “And I don’t want to go to jail,” he said.

nbsp;              “I really wanted to just ask you if you were ok. If what happened with Amy affected…”

nbsp;              “I don’t regret anything, Chloe,” he answered like he was reading her mind.

nbsp;              “I’m sorry, Lex, for coming here. It was pointless. I just… I just had to talk to someone. You know how hard it is to keep a secret like that? I experienced something amazing and I can’t tell anyone. They all keep thinking I’m Chloe, the tomboy… but you probably don’t need to hear it… coming here was a mistake… sorry…”

nbsp;              Why had she in the first place? What good this meeting would give her? Just more restless thoughts. It would just make her want to repeat what they’d done that night and that was too dangerous for the both of them.

nbsp;              She wanted to turn around and leave when she felt Lex’s fingers grasping her lower arm, then pulling her back to face him and his lips crashing against hers.

nbsp;              They kissed and Chloe found herself opening her mouth to the advance of Lex’s skillful tongue, then she moaned and…

nbsp;              “Lex…” She put her hands to his chest and pushed him away. “As much as I would like this, we can’t. We’ll get too far and… it’ll just get dangerous.”

nbsp;              “You’re right,” he agreed and reluctantly made a step back. “I’m sorry.”

nbsp;              He was so angry with himself. He did it again. He lost control. How could he?! Anyone could just walk inside the study at any moment. It was too dangerous to be even touching Chloe in the daylight when they were so many people around the castle. Even Clark could just pop in as he always did in the least expected moments.

nbsp;              “I think it’ll be better if we stop seeing each other altogether,” Chloe said with a little trembling voice. She tried very hard to forget about her arousal.

nbsp;              Simple kiss, though fiery, and she already wanted more.

nbsp;              “Fair enough,” admitted Lex, putting his poker face back on.

nbsp;              ***

It happened when she talked to Clark and Lana in the Talon.

nbsp;              One moment she was feeling completely down and then, she just thought… if only they knew.

nbsp;              If they knew what she’d done. If they knew her dirty little secret… Chloe suddenly started enjoying having it. They couldn’t know, but she knew. That meant she could feel so much better in their company now. She could just keep imagining their faces, keep savoring in the knowledge only she and Lex had.

nbsp;              Chloe could be sexy, could be wild and passionate.

nbsp;              She could be even better than Lana. She could find herself a lot of admirers.

nbsp;              But it just wasn’t her style.

nbsp;              She wanted somebody to like her for her, not the person she could become or play.

nbsp;              What was important was yet the fact that she knew she could if only she tried.

nbsp;              And that gave her the confidence she needed.

Title: Remember me

Pairing: chlex

Rating: Mild NC17

One shot

Spoilers: Shattered, Asylum (Smallville season 3)

Description: Chloe and Lex fell in love and then he was taken away from her. To BelleReve.

I came up with this idea while rewatching Asylum (season 3) and it’s just one shot.

Chloe is 18 here and she’s just finished high school. I pushed the events a little forward, because I needed her to be legal.

And while watching those two episodes: Shattered and Asylum… How Lex can be the bad guy?!

What did Lex do when Clark (finally!) decided to break him out of BelleReve (in the last moment) and then was attacked by the meteor freaks?! Lex could only think about Clark’s well-being, he didn’t even care that his brain would be fired in a moment!! He didn’t even strike the deal with the freaks to escape. He remained loyal to his friend and was completely selfless, even if he could become a vegetable later.

And how come Lex is suddenly the villain? Everybody turned on him and kept judging him by his name. I would go bad in his place eventually, too!!

***

“Clark, we need to do something!” Chloe persisted as Clark took a closer look at her.

nbsp;              There’d been something wrong with Chloe from the moment Lex had lost his mind and landed up in BelleReve. Clark didn’t know what it was yet, but he would surely find out.

nbsp;              “Chloe, I can’t just break him out, you know this!” he told her, clearly agitated with her pushing, still trying to figure out why she was that way. “I don’t why you’ve got yourself into that mess in the first place, but… can’t you just relax for a moment?”

nbsp;              “Relax?!” Chloe raised her voice, looking at Clark with her eyes widely opened. “Clark, do you even hear yourself?! Lex is your friend, one of you best friends!”

nbsp;              She was tired, restless, she couldn’t sleep, didn’t even remember to eat. All she could do was to stay up and keep looking for something that would help Lex.

nbsp;              “Chloe, you have no idea how much it pains me,” Clark admitted. “But I’m helpless. I want to help him, I just don’t know how and believe me, I keep thinking about it over and over and… there’s just no way out of this.” His shoulders slumped like he just gave up. “I didn’t know you two were so close with Lex,” he added after a moment. “You’re having hard time going through this. Much harder than I am.”

nbsp;              “I just… I can’t stand and watch an innocent person’s life destroyed like that. Lex is so much better than his father and if he’s down… just think what Lionel is capable of…”

nbsp;              That shut Clark for a moment and then he left her alone.

nbsp;              Chloe sighed heavily, closed her eyes while fighting the burning sensations of the incoming tears and she fell into her chair, hiding her face in her hands.

nbsp;              After a moment her body shook out of helplessness.

nbsp;              She’d been always overlooked while still in high school. Everybody had always wanted Lana, not Chloe, never Chloe. Her only boyfriend materials had been freaks. Meteor infected.

nbsp;              After a while she’d just started to think she would never be good enough, that the only thing she’d had left had been reporting. So she’d decided not to feel sorry for herself and worked harder.

nbsp;              Then, something horrible had happened, but in the same time it’d been the beginning of something wonderful. A miracle that had given her life a new purpose. Something worth living for.

nbsp;              It’d been love. Love from the least expected person.

nbsp;              Chloe had struck a deal with the devil in a moment of weakness.

nbsp;              Lionel had given her a job at the Daily Planet and wanted all the info she’d had on Clark in return. Of course, at first she’d told him no, but then when things between her and Clark had started falling apart she’d decided to feed Lionel with some irrelevant information and take the job. It’d been, after all, a lifetime opportunity and she’d been sick of sacrificing herself for others. Journalism had been all she’d had left.

nbsp;              It’d all backfired, leaving her thinking how stupid she could actually be! Lionel had kept pushing her further and further, blackmailed her that he would fire her father and make sure she would never get another job as a reporter, even in the Inquisitor.

nbsp;              Chloe had had no choice, but to look for something that she could use for blackmailing Lionel back.

nbsp;              She’d been so, so stupid. She should’ve never entered any deal with him in the first place.

nbsp;              But in the same time that had brought her and Lex so much closer.

nbsp;              He’d been the one who decided to help her. He’d been the one who’d reached his hand to her and offered protection with nothing in return. She’d given him everything she’d had on his father.

nbsp;              And they…

nbsp;              ***

“Fuck! Fuck you, Lionel, you old bastard!” Chloe was venting out her frustration.

nbsp;              It’d been a month since Lex had been taken to BelleReve and still, she couldn’t get even one visit! She wanted to see him so badly… wanted to look into his eyes, to comfort him, to…

nbsp;              She knew if she would finally be able to visit him it would break her, but she needed to anyway.

nbsp;              The obstacle was Lionel who kept denying her his permission as he was the only person in charge of any decisions considering Lex since Lex, himself, wasn’t at his right mind.

nbsp;              There was no way out of this.

nbsp;              Chloe just wanted to scream, demolish her room and slash Lionel’s throat.

nbsp;              Two first would be futile and the last just impossible and wrong.

nbsp;              ***

“Ms Sullivan,” she heard Lionel’s voice behind her what caused her to jump.

nbsp;              She supposed to be working on her Daily Planet column, but all she could do was keep looking for anything that would help her and Clark get Lex out.

nbsp;              “Mr Luthor,” she welcomed him with a cold voice and steel eyes.

nbsp;              “I see that you keep asking for a permission to see my son. Why is that, Ms Sullivan? Why are you being so stubborn when I keep refusing?” Lionel’s eyebrow elevated, smirk on his face.

nbsp;              Chloe didn’t know if he actually realized how close she was with Lex. He knew there was something going on, but he probably didn’t think it was mutual from Lex’s side. He thought Chloe developed some hopeless, silly crush just because Lex had offered to safe her. Well, Chloe didn’t intend on telling Lionel how wrong he was. It would be even more dangerous for Lex that way.

nbsp;              “Giving up is not in my nature, so you, as well, may let me,” she answered, doing her best to keep her cold façade. She couldn’t reveal how much she was actually afraid of him. She couldn’t show him her feelings.

nbsp;              “Alright, then,” Lionel just said and it made Chloe glaze at him in surprise.

nbsp;              “Excuse me?” she asked like she didn’t quite believe her ears.

nbsp;              “I said alright, Ms Sullivan.”

nbsp;              It still shocked her.

nbsp;              “Under one condition,” Lionel continued with his well-known mocking expression.

nbsp;              “Of course, how could I forget that with you everything always comes with a price. Usually double,” Chloe stated. “So, what do you want from me this time?”

nbsp;              “What I always want. Clark.”

nbsp;              “I gave you all I had on him.”

nbsp;              “Though I doubt that you don’t have to,” Lionel said.

nbsp;              “So why…”

nbsp;              “Lex. Lex is the one who knows whatever Clark is hiding. When they finally found him after Morgan Edge died my son was mumbling about some special abilities that Clark had. I need you to go see my son and find out what that abilities are.”

nbsp;              “Lex was drugged, he might’ve hallucinated.”

nbsp;              “Of course, that’s possible,” Lionel shrugged, “but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t check it.”

nbsp;              Chloe bit her lower lip, torn between her friendship and… this time – love.

nbsp;              As much as she wanted Clark in her life she couldn’t lose Lex. She knew that her little visit wouldn’t set him free, but she had to see him. Everything in her ached for him.

nbsp;              “Alright,” she agreed. She’d known she would from the very moment Lionel had suggested that. “I will try.”

nbsp;              “You will succeed,” he corrected her.

nbsp;              When he left, Chloe’s body started shivering. She finally released all the tension and let herself cry for a little.

nbsp;              She could see herself breaking soon. Just like Lex. And she didn’t even have to be drugged for that.

nbsp;              She remembered how they’d started to work together. She remembered their evenings over papers and documents. That had kept bringing them closer and closer, the electricity between them getting much more intense and just then, some night, Lex had just kissed her.

nbsp;              At first she’d been surprised that he would actually feel for her, if not love, then desire. It’d seemed so incomprehensible that he could see something in her when living in Smallville, in the town where Chloe had always been overlooked, where everybody had always been noticing Lana Lang and no one else.

nbsp;              That kiss had sent trillions of sparks to her body and before she’d realized she’d put her arms around his neck, kissing him back, opening up for him. He’d taken her in his arms just as eagerly.

nbsp;              They’d parted a while later, breathing hard, trying to think it all over, trying to understand what had happened. Maybe that understanding part had been much on Chloe’s side since she still couldn’t believe.

nbsp;              “Chloe, you are so beautiful,” Lex had told her then.

nbsp;              She’d looked at him in awe, completely bewildered.

nbsp;              “Exactly, so beautiful…” he’d repeated while looking at her with such fire in his intense gaze that it’d made her burn more than the fire in the fireplace.

nbsp;              That how it’d started.

nbsp;              Chloe wiped her tears, decided to put herself together and not to think about anything else.

nbsp;              Her mind didn’t work that way though, and was bombarded with new memories in an instance.

nbsp;              She remembered how she’d been called by Clark to come over to the farm to take care of Lex.

nbsp;              She remembered how she’d found the man she loved with a wrapped blanket in his arms.

nbsp;              She remembered how Lex had sung to that blanket, calling him his little brother, Jullian.

nbsp;              His voice so gentle, so melodious. Chloe would’ve been astonished with the sound of it if it hadn’t been for the circumstances.

nbsp;              Watching Lex like that, watching him breaking, watching him being… crazy. It’d hurt her more than anything.

nbsp;              And she couldn’t even help him.

***

“This way, Ms Sullivan.”

nbsp;              Chloe was finally let inside the BelleReve and now she was led by one of the male nurses to Lex.

nbsp;              She felt like she was just about to drop to the ground, like she would lose her consciousness. Every single step forward kept accelerating her heartbeat. She would see Lex soon. She would talk to him. She would...

nbsp;              She felt dryness in her mouth, her whole body started shaking and she could feel cold sweat on her back.

nbsp;              “Here,” the man showed her the door and while they got closer…

nbsp;              She could finally see him.

nbsp;              Her Lex was sitting in that room among all that crazy lunatics. All alone. Just being there. Not doing anything in particular.

nbsp;              Her heart jumped painfully as she begun closing the distance that was between them.

nbsp;              He looked so different in the hospital clothes. He wasn’t the same sophisticated, funny, intelligent and witty man she remembered. The only thing that remained the same was the fact that he was so closed for everybody.

nbsp;              She knew she’d been the only one he’d really let into his heart.

nbsp;              “Le…” she had to clear her throat, because she couldn’t speak. “Lex,” she finally managed to utter, her voice faltering a little.

nbsp;              His posture changed at the first time she tried to speak his name, then he slowly turned his head to look up at her.

nbsp;              “Chloe…” he said quietly and that was all she could take.

nbsp;              His voice reached to her, touched her heart and she thought it was totally shattered right now. Not because he broke it, at least he didn’t break it, because he didn’t love her, he broke it, because their situation was so helpless.

nbsp;              He stood up with her name on his lips again and they immediately got closer as they wanted to touch themselves so badly.

nbsp;              Lex took her face in his hands as she took his and they wanted to kiss when…

nbsp;              “Against the rules!” the guard parted them immediately. “If you don’t want your visit to finish right now, young lady, I encourage you not to do that again.”

nbsp;              Chloe’s eyes started stinging as she felt fresh tears in them.

nbsp;              Being so close to Lex and not be able to touch him, to give him the comfort he desperately needed and take it as well was unbearable for her. For both of them.

nbsp;              “Oh, Chloe, please, don’t cry,” Lex pleaded. “Please, because…” he looked away for a moment. “Just… stop. We’ll be ok. I promise.”

nbsp;              “You can’t promise that.” Her green eyes finally met his blue-gray. “Lex, it’s… it’s all just… over…”

nbsp;              “Don’t say that. I will get out of here and we will be together,” he reassured her. He raised his hands as he wanted to touch her again, but then he just dropped them.

nbsp;              “I love you so much…” she squealed.

nbsp;              “I love you too, baby, so much.”

nbsp;              “Lionel will never let us get away,” she said.

nbsp;              “Doesn’t matter. I will make that happen.”

nbsp;              “How?” she asked him, her eyes pleading desperately. “How?!” she repeated.

nbsp;              “I’m surprised he even let you come see me,” Lex told her instead of answering.

nbsp;              “With him everything comes with a price,” Chloe said.

nbsp;              “What was that price?” Lex prompted, clearly disturbed. “Chloe, you should’ve…”

nbsp;              “I couldn’t,” she interrupted him immediately. “You would do the same in my place and we both know it. I had to see you!”

nbsp;              “What does my father want from you?”

nbsp;              “He thinks you have some valuable information on Clark,” Chloe blurted out.

nbsp;              The look in Lex’s eyes told her everything.

nbsp;              “So you do!”

nbsp;              “Chloe…” Lex started and made a step toward her, clearly wanting to put his hands on her arms. He jerked to a sudden stop. “Chloe, I love you, you can be sure of that, but I cannot tell you. It’s not my secret to tell.”

nbsp;              “I understand,” Chloe sighed, because she really did. “I just… I just want you back.”

nbsp;              “Telling my father Clark’s secret won’t change anything. It’ll just cause Clark more trouble.”

nbsp;              “But what am I supposed to do now? If I don’t give Lionel something…” Chloe started.

nbsp;              “Go straight to Clark,” Lex told her and she listened to him carefully, watching his face intently as he was clearly dead serious. “Chloe, do it. When you go out of here, get into your car and do not stop until you reach Clark, understood?”

nbsp;              She just nodded.

nbsp;              “But why?” she asked.

nbsp;              “Clark will protect you. If you can be safe from my father it’s by Clark’s side. Trust me.”

nbsp;              “I trust you,” she assured him.

nbsp;              “Young lady, the visit is over!” she heard the guard’s voice from behind her.

nbsp;              She suddenly started wondering if the guard was listening on their conversation, so he could report back to Lionel.

nbsp;              Chloe raised her hand to Lex’s face and put it to his cheek.

nbsp;              He closed his eyes for a moment in blissful pleasure.

nbsp;              Then she was ripped away from him. The guard took her by her arms and pulled her toward the exit.

nbsp;              “Enough!”

nbsp;              “I love you!” she called after Lex one again.

nbsp;              “I love you!!” Lex called back.

nbsp;              And they were parted once again.

nbsp;              Both hearts broken at the same time.

***

Chloe did exactly what Lex had told her, but half way to the Kents’ farm she spotted a car following her.

nbsp;              She hadn’t done what Lionel had asked her for. She failed. Now she would pay the price. Now somebody would just kill her or take her back to Lionel.

nbsp;              And Lionel would use her to get the needed information from Lex as he now knew that Lex loved Chloe as well.

nbsp;              “Fuck!” she cursed doing everything she could to drive at the same speed and seem like she wasn’t panicking at all – the driver behind her couldn’t see much after all – she reached for her phone.

nbsp;              “Clark?!” she screamed when he picked up. “I’m coming back from BelleReve. Lionel let me see Lex to find out your secret! I still don’t know, but he’s after me! I’m afraid he might…”

nbsp;              “Where are you?!” Clark just asked her, so she quickly shouted back the route she was on.

nbsp;              Not a second passed by when suddenly Chloe saw a strange blur that looked at Clark right by her car.

nbsp;              Then Clark just ripped the door off, took her and… she was on his farm.

nbsp;              “How the fuck did you do this?!” she stared at him while being in the biggest shock in her life. “Oh God! It’s all making a perfect sense now!!” She covered her mouth with her hands.

***

“Ms Sullivan…” Lionel said with exasperated voice as he walked into her house. “I’m getting really tired with that disobedience. I don’t know how you managed to escape from a driving car within a second, but…”

nbsp;              The driver that had been following Chloe probably hadn’t even noticed Clark as he’d moved so fast.

nbsp;              “My only guess is you managed to either find a copy of Alicia Baker or… maybe Clark Kent had something to do with it?” Lionel asked her. “Is that what he’s been hiding? Is that what Lex told you?”

nbsp;              “No,” Chloe simply answered.

nbsp;              “Search her,” Lionel directed his orders to the man that was with him, so he came inside.

nbsp;              “Hey!” Chloe yelled at him, but he remained unyielding.

nbsp;              “Now, scan the house,” Lionel commended and his man took out some device and turned it on.

nbsp;              “No bugs, sir, you’re free to speak,” the man said and walked out of there.

nbsp;              “Now, Ms Sullivan… where were we?” Lionel asked.

nbsp;              “You…” Chloe started, but before she could come up with some offensive name for Lionel, he interrupted her, “ah, Clark, yes. So?” he prompted.

nbsp;              “I don’t know anything,” she said.

nbsp;              “Liar.”

nbsp;              “I’m not lying.”

nbsp;              Lionel just chuckled.

nbsp;              “Tell me and I’ll let you go to the mansion. Lex is waiting for you there.”

nbsp;              “What?” she asked confused. “Now you’re the one who’s presumably lying.”

nbsp;              “See for yourself.” Lionel shrugged and pointed his car. “After you tell me the truth about Clark Kent I’ll let my driver take you there.”

nbsp;              “Lex really did not tell me anything,” Chloe said, doing her best to act like she didn’t care, like all her being wasn’t screaming at her to just go to the mansion. It was stupid anyway. Lionel was bluffing for sure.

nbsp;              He smacked his lips, “my patience is running out, Ms Sullivan. And do I have to remind you that everybody’s lives are at stake here? Everybody around you,” he added.

nbsp;              “So you’ll just kill me like you killed your parents?” Chloe asked, silently praying for her plan to work.

nbsp;              “Oh, I will do so much, much worse,” Lionel answered to her joy. “Mark my words, Ms Sullivan and the proof… you’ll find it at the mansion. With Lex.”

nbsp;              “What did you do  to him?!” The last control Chloe had over herself was snapped at that moment.

nbsp;              “So helplessly in love. How pathetic.” Lionel shook his head. “At least my son is not pathetic anymore.”

nbsp;              “What did you do?!” Chloe repeated, rage building inside of her.

nbsp;              If Lionel hurt Lex she would make him suffer even if that would be the last thing she’d do.

nbsp;              “See for yourself,” Lionel just smirked.

nbsp;              Chloe rushed toward the door.

nbsp;              “Not so fast,” Lionel stopped her. “First,  the truth or you’ll never get the chance to see Lex again. Your life will be over right here.”

nbsp;              “Well, what can I say, Mr Luthor,” Chloe managed to put herself together and say with cockiness in her voice. “You’ve just been outplayed.” She smiled to him.

nbsp;              She could now hear the police coming.              

nbsp;              “What…?” Lionel turned to that direction. “You can’t proof anything.”

nbsp;              “Oh, we will,” said Clark coming out of the next room.

nbsp;              “But… it’s impossible! You weren’t there! The whole house is being watched and it was scanned!” Lionel was baffled.

nbsp;              “I guess we really did outplay you. Finally.” Clark smiled.

***

“Lex?! Lex!” Chloe pushed the door to his study open and strode inside. “LEX!”

nbsp;              “Chloe?” she heard his voice.

nbsp;              She heard him! He was there! Upstairs and now he was going down to greet her! Her Lex!

nbsp;              “Lex…” she ran to him, but about halfway she jerked to a sudden stop.

nbsp;              Something was wrong.

nbsp;              Lex was like himself, but… there was something missing. He didn’t look at her as he used to. He didn’t go to her to kiss her, to put his arms around her. He was just there. Standing stiff.

nbsp;              “Chloe, are you ok?”

nbsp;              “Lex… what…” She felt like she would gag. “Lex…” she could just keep repeating his name and stare.

nbsp;              “What is it, Chloe? Is everything alright? Is Clark alright?” Lex’s brows elevated in confusion and care.

nbsp;              “Clark? No… I mean… what happened to you?” she finally asked. “Lex, you were…”

nbsp;              “I know where I was,” he said and she could sense a hint of something specific in his eyes as he looked at her, but it wasn’t even near close to the way he’d been looking at her before. Like she’d been the only woman in the world. “Thanks to my father I was released. I know he let the doctor conduct… some specific… treatment…” he stopped like he was thinking something over.

nbsp;              “Specific… treatment…” Chloe just kept repeating, trying to figure out what had happened. “What treatment, Lex?”

nbsp;              “Electroshock therapy,” he finally replied.

nbsp;              “Wh… what?!” Chloe tried to focus on the conversation, to not feel anything right now, to shut her heart for a moment, to shut all the emotions, to control her body as not to jump Lex. “And…”

nbsp;              “And I don’t remember the last couple of months of my life,” Lex concluded.

nbsp;              That was it. That was what Lionel had been talking about.

nbsp;              Chloe and Clark might’ve finally gotten the proof to put him in prison forever, but he’d still managed to destroyed Chloe’s life. Her love. Her future. Just everything.

nbsp;              “Oh God…” Chloe’s hand wandered up to her mouth to cover it. She started shaking.

nbsp;              “Chloe, are you alright? Is there something I should know?” Lex asked gently as he walked toward her.

nbsp;              “No…” she quickly made a few steps back what caused him to stop.

nbsp;              “Chloe? You can tell me, you know you can.”

nbsp;              “It’s… nothing,” she just said on her last breath and walked away. “I have to go…” she muttered and left.

nbsp;              In the corridor she burst into tears.

nbsp;              Everything that mattered in her life – and that was Lex – was gone now.

nbsp;              She remembered how they’d first slept together. How fantastic it’d been. How passionate Lex had been with her. Kissing her. Touching her. Bringing her to ecstasy. Moving inside of her…

nbsp;              “Chloe?” Clark stopped her when she was by the front door. “Chloe, what is it?”

nbsp;              “He just doesn’t remember me…” she sobbed. “He doesn’t… Oh god!”

nbsp;              “Chloe…”

nbsp;              “He loved me, Clark!” she finally said it at loud. “And I loved him back! And now it’s all gone!”

nbsp;              She pushed him away and ran, not looking back.

***

The next time she actually saw Clark was at the trial.

nbsp;              She would soon start her college education, so Chloe moved into the dorm and conveniently she didn’t have to drive all the way from Smallville to testify against Lionel.

nbsp;              “Chloe… how are you?” Clark just asked her with caring voice.

nbsp;              “How do you think I am?” she snapped at him. All that time away from him and Lex had given her a new perspective. “You know, what?” she asked him. Her voice cold like ice. “I’ve done a lot of thinking and… you know what pains me, Clark?! You kept lying to us all the time and I can understand that, I really can, you had your reasons, but then… Lex knew about you and you still couldn’t just break him out of that fucking place! You were scared?! Of what?! That he couldn’t be trusted?!”

nbsp;              “No, Chloe…” Clark started, “it just wasn’t that simple. There still was Lionel and the fact… I could go to jail for breaking him out…”

nbsp;              “With your speed and abilities no one would find out, so cut the crap! You just thought of yourself and didn’t help your friend when he was in need! You didn’t trust him enough! Clark, I loved him! I loved him and I knew he could be trusted! And you…” her voice faltered a little and tears appeared in her eyes. “You know that he protected your secret. He could’ve given you away, even to his father, he would’ve been freed in a second for that and still… he chose to protect you. He didn’t even think about himself! He asked me to go to you, so you would keep me safe! He never asked me to tell you that you should help him! He thought of me first! Ask yourself now, who is the real friend here, Clark? And ask yourself who’s the bad guy, too.”

nbsp;              “Chloe…” Clark started, but had no idea what to say to that.

nbsp;              “Don’t. Just fucking don’t!” she yelled and entered the courtroom.

***

Seeing Lex there was very painful for her, but she managed to get through it. She gave her testimony and quietly slipped out. She knew Lionel would be for sure sentenced to life imprisonment if not for the death penalty. She’d done her job. She was free now.

nbsp;              She just didn’t know what she would do with herself.

nbsp;              “Chloe!” she heard his voice when walking to the exit through the empty court hall. “Chloe! Damn it, wait!” He ran after her and put his hand on her arm, turned her to face him.

nbsp;              She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to look into his blue-gray eyes. She couldn’t deal with that many emotions. It would finally break her and maybe this time somebody would end up in BelleReve for a reason.

nbsp;              “Chloe…” he repeated with much softer voice now. It sounded like a caress.

nbsp;              “What?” she asked, but still did not look up at him.

nbsp;              “Please, look at me?” he asked and she shivered when he touched her chin to gently raise it.

nbsp;              Eyes met.

nbsp;              Searing pain shot right through her.

nbsp;              “Clark told me everything.”

nbsp;              She expected everything, but this.

nbsp;              “What?” she frowned. “What do you mean?”

nbsp;              “You and I. That’s what I mean,” Lex persisted. “Do not try to fool me now, Chloe. I know.”

nbsp;              “But, do you remember?” she asked, her voice suddenly shrill.

nbsp;              “No,” Lex admitted and she felt like she got heartbroken all over again.

nbsp;              “I’m done, Lex. I can’t do this anymore. It just hurts too much!” She wanted to turn away, but he put his hands on her shoulder, keeping her in place. “I do not remember, but I do feel,” he added. “There is something between us, so maybe we…”

nbsp;              “Lex, it’s just not that simple,” she interrupted, “I can’t do this when you don’t have the same memories or feelings.” She managed to freed herself from his arms, but before she could turn to leave again he grabbed her face and kissed her.

nbsp;              She succumbed. Overwhelmed by feelings. She just wanted him next to her. His hard body grazing against hers. His hot lips on her. His hands all over her.

nbsp;              Then she remembered and was forced to push him away.

nbsp;              Pain was even stronger now.

nbsp;              “Lex, no… we can’t just…” she stopped when she saw the expression on his face. Something between awe and astonishment. “Lex?” she asked carefully, trying not to hope for something that may be futile.

nbsp;              “I…” He just smiled and shook his face, then he looked deep into her eyes. “When you came to see me in the mansion after my treatment… I knew I love you, I just… I thought I never pursued you, never told you. Then Clark told me the truth and I did everything I could to remember. Everything. And nothing worked. Until now.”

nbsp;              “What… what do… you mean?” she stammered, her head spinning.

nbsp;              “I’ve loved you all that time, but this kiss… this kiss… I remembered.”

nbsp;              “Everything?”

nbsp;              He shook his head and she was crushed again.

nbsp;              “I remember our first kiss. The nights by the fireplace. Working over the case?”

nbsp;              “And that’s it?” she asked. Didn’t know if she should stay or… “Or fuck this!” She suddenly made her decision and brought Lex down for another kiss.

nbsp;              “Chloe…” Clark got out of the courtroom at the same moment, but then he stopped. “Good. Ok… I’ll go back in then…” He left them with a smile on his face.

nbsp;              “Chloe, you are so beautiful,” Lex told her when they parted again.

nbsp;              “Is that a memory, too?” she asked.

nbsp;              “Yes. And that’s also the truth. Come…” He took her hand and led her out of the building, into the car that was waiting for him, away from the reporters that were standing there. They drove to his penthouse.

nbsp;              Walked to his apartment.

nbsp;              To his bedroom.

nbsp;              They kissed again and she unbuttoned his shirt, loosened his tie, taking it all off along with his jacket, sliding her hands through his bare smooth chest.

nbsp;              He groaned into her mouth as he cupped her breast and grazed his hard groin against her.

nbsp;              “I remember…” he whispered into her ear.

nbsp;              Chloe forgot about the whole world. She succumbed to the sensations.

nbsp;              When he pushed her naked on the bed and hovered above her he kept whispering, “I remember… I remember…” with every move.

nbsp;              With his lips on her nipples, with his fingers inside of her, stroking her intimately, kissing her again…

nbsp;              Then she reached down to pull his pants down, freeing his hard length, stroking it…

nbsp;              “I remember… fuck… I remember…” he kept repeating as a mantra. She understood that he didn’t just remember it all at the moment, it was coming back to him in pieces, as they were getting down to having sex.

nbsp;              And the he was sliding inside her. Filling her. Their bodies joined. Breaths erratic. Hands all over each other. Lips kissing.

nbsp;              They started moving, Lex was pushing into her, she was meeting his trusts. They both grunting.

nbsp;              “I remember… Chloe, my love…” He met her eyes and she could see deep into them. She knew he remembered it all. Every single detail. “I love you… I love you so much!” he kept saying as he was pushing into her, accelerating the rhythm.

nbsp;              “Oh God… more… faster… harder… Lex… Lex… I love you… Lex…” she kept moaning.

nbsp;              She raised her legs, put them around his waist, so he could enter her as deeply as possible.

nbsp;              “Yes… love…”

nbsp;              As soon as her orgasm hit he was coming too, not able to hold on much longer.

nbsp;              And then they just laid in each other’s arms. Satisfied. Sated. Loving each other more than ever.

nbsp;              “I can’t believe I got you back,” she almost wept into his ear.

nbsp;              “You will never lose me,” he promised and kissed her deeply.

nbsp;              He only remembered her. The times he’d spent with her. The moments he’d loved her. All beside that was gone.

nbsp;              But it was enough for them. Those were the memories he really needed, triggered by love.

The end